Indecisive

I hate being horribly indecisive about how to spend my time. It makes me feel useless.

Random Pictures

These photos were taken in random places at various times.

These are some photos from a recent trip I took to Petit Jean Mountain with my mom and grandmother.

I realized today that I never get to do what I want anymore. I guess this is all part of growing up, but it really sucks. Everyday, I wake up and think about all the things I am going to do when I get home. You know...all the things you'd rather be doing than going to work. But...when I get home, none of it happens!! I am so tired and worn out that I just sit on the couch like a zombie until I finally fall asleep, or I get up and get ready to go to bed because I know I am about to fall asleep. I don't know how it happened, but I totally ended up right smack in the middle of a career that wasn't my first choice. Oh, I'd much rather make art all day, but the way too orderly side of my personality would not jump out on a limb and just do it. I constantly say to myself..."I am going to start slow. I am going to make a few pieces and see how they sell," or "I will put an add in the paper for photography services," but sadly enough I never have enough time to do anything. I am starting to realize that life will never let that day come until I suck it up and push myself. I just feel like I've forgotten how to take that first step. Where did all my adventure go? Where did the young kid who was ready to take the world by storm end up? I don't know, but I sure hope I find her soon. I cannot imagine my life without creating art.